


look over your hills and be still

by Lise



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Heat Stroke, Hurt Loki (Marvel), POV Thor (Marvel), Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Whump, by way of totally canon diverging, it's hot and i'm miserable so, this fic started out as one thing and then turned a hard left
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: Partway into the journey to Earth, the climate control on the Statesman breaks. Meanwhile, Loki has some confessions to make.Things get messy from there.





	look over your hills and be still

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my third in what's apparently an annual tradition of "summer makes me miserable because it's too hot all the time and I want to die, therefore I'm going to make Loki miserable too" fics. And that was all this was going to be, only then some other stuff kind of snuck in there, and it turned into a stealth Infinity War preemptive fix it fic, and basically, uh, I don't even know, man.
> 
> Thanks to the anon who gave me the seed of this fic, and my ever patient [beta](http://ameliarating.tumblr.com), who tolerates so much of my bullshit.

The Statesman was a perfectly adequate spacecraft, though ‘adequate’ was the best that could be said for it. It was sturdy enough, but it was also heavy, slow, and old, its replicator technology spotty and unreliable. Thor had managed to find a few people among the survivors with some training in engineering or mechanics, including Valkyrie, though fewer than he would have liked, and certainly fewer than a ship this size really needed. 

Then someone trying to fix the lights in one of the lower corridors cut the wrong wire and the climate control went down. And of course they didn’t have a replacement, and soldering the ends back together did nothing. Fixing it, Valkyrie informed him while sweating, was just going to have to wait. 

“You can’t be serious,” Loki said, almost a snarl. 

“No,” Valkyrie said, glancing at him. “I’m joking. Ha, ha.” They both stared at her, and she threw up her hands. “ _Yes,_ I’m serious. This isn’t _my_ fault. I’m not happy about it either.” 

Loki muttered something under his breath and paced over to the window. “What’s _your_ problem,” Valkyrie said to his back. 

“Nothing,” Loki said snappishly. “It’s just - an irritating setback.” 

“Loki doesn’t like heat,” Thor told Valkyrie. “He wilts.” 

“I don’t-” Loki cut off with a huff. 

“Stay away from the lower levels, then,” Valkyrie said after a moment. “That’s where it’s going to be worst, closer to the engines.”

“Duly noted,” Loki said. 

“Is there anything we can do?” Thor asked. 

“Can you start up a nice spring rainstorm in here?” Valkyrie said. “That might be refreshing.” Thor gave her a look, and she spread her hands. “Sorry, Your Highness. For now...it is what it is.” 

Thor sighed. “Thank you,” he said. “I’ll set Heimdall to seeking the nearest safe spaceport.”

He waited for her to leave before turning to Loki, who was still tapping his foot against the floor in a clear gesture of impatient agitation. It was almost a relief that he was letting it show. “Are you going to be all right?” He asked. 

“I will forbear,” Loki said after a moment. “It isn’t as though there are a lot of options.” Thor scrutinized him, and Loki smiled crookedly. “I survived Surtur’s flames, didn’t I? I doubt it’ll be worse than that.” 

“You weren’t _in_ Surtur’s flames,” Thor pointed out. Loki shrugged. 

“Don’t ruin the rhetorical point,” he said. “I’ll be fine.” 

* * *

Being on a ship with the cooling system broken was not like being outside on a hot day. It was more like being shut inside a metal box full of stale air that rapidly began to smell like the sweat of just over a thousand people, which Thor supposed was exactly the case. 

And the nearest port was over a week away. Quick washes in a chemical shower were not exactly refreshing. 

Thor was irritable and trying not to be, Valkyrie was irritable and not bothering to hide it, the Hulk kept muttering about smashing something, and even seemingly unflappable Heimdall was showing signs of strain. Asgard’s people were restive, occasionally exploding into downright belligerence. 

And Loki, who was, indeed, wilting, looked like he was going to crawl out of his skin. 

Thor kept a close eye on him, waiting to see what he was up to, and eventually found him looking at star charts. 

“Going somewhere?” He said coolly. Loki jumped almost a foot in the air and spun around. He looked paler than usual, Thor noted, but that could be a reaction to being caught out. 

“No,” Loki said. “I was-”

Thor expelled a breath. “Don’t _lie_ to me.” 

“I’m _not,_ ” Loki said loudly. “I was-” He pressed his fingers to his eyes in a familiar gesture that signaled a headache. Thor refused to let himself sympathize. “--trying to orient myself.”

“Orient yourself,” Thor repeated, layering his voice with thick skepticism. Loki winced. 

“Yes,” he said, a little snappish. “That’s what I said. Checking the location of Xandar and Knowhere relative to where we are.”

“Xandar?” Thor said. “Knowhere? Are you trying to decide which to flee to?” 

Loki’s spine snapped straight. “No, _Thor,_ ” he said. “I’m not _leaving,_ I’m--” He stopped, eyes flicking away and then back. He took a deep breath. “There’s something that we should discuss.” 

That sounded decidedly ominous. “What’s that,” he asked carefully. 

Loki pressed his lips together. “Actually,” he said, “Heimdall should probably know as well. And I suppose Valkyrie. The Hulk...I think I’ll let you explain to him after.” 

Thor felt his eyebrows creeping up. “Loki,” he said, trying not to sound as nervous as he was beginning to feel. “What is this about?”

“You’re going to have to wait,” Loki said, flicking his fingers to dismiss the chart he’d been examining. “I don’t want to say this more than once.” He pressed his fingers into his eyes again, and Thor caved. 

“Headache?” He said. 

“Minor,” Loki said with a thin-lipped smile. “It’s just this damn heat. Do you want to collect your friends or shall I?”

“I will,” Thor said, foreboding heavy in his stomach. 

“Let’s use your room,” Loki said. “For the sake of privacy. I’ll meet you there.” 

Thor let him walk out without further words, though he stared at his back with narrowed eyes, suspicion warring with worry. 

* * *

“You asked me,” Loki began, speaking directly to Thor, “ _who controls the would-be King._ I didn’t answer. I’m answering now.” 

Loki paced like he couldn’t hold still, which maybe he couldn’t. For the most part he spoke simply, clearly, only now and again stumbling over his own words before steadying again. Laying it out neatly like a hand of cards. He summoned the Tesseract and set it down on the table in front of them. Six stones. Five accounted for. One on Xandar, one on Knowhere - so that explained why the charts. Two on Midgard-

“Two?” Thor interrupted. Loki gave him a quick look. 

“The sorcerer was wearing one,” he said. “Time, I think. Don’t interrupt me.” 

Thor subsided, sitting back. 

“And the Tesseract,” Heimdall said. “Here.” 

“Just so.” Loki’s throat bobbed, his hands twisting together. He looked pale, and sweaty, though of course that might just be the stifling heat - but Thor knew what Loki’s fear looked like, too. He wondered what Loki wasn’t saying about his year in the Void. 

“You’re afraid he will be coming for it,” Thor said. Loki jerked his head in a nod.

“And you brought it _here?_ ” Valkyrie demanded. “To a ship full of helpless citizens-”

“What should I have done,” Loki hissed. “Left it to drift in space?”

“Maybe! At least you could’ve _said_ something-”

“I _am_ saying something!” Loki’s voice rose a few notches. “Forgive me for taking some time to figure out _how_ and decide-” He cut off. His eyes flicked to Thor and then away. 

Thor crossed his arms. “Decide whether or not you were going to leave with it?” He said. Loki looked like he wanted to flinch and just managed to hold his ground.

“I considered it.”

“Regardless of what should have been done,” Heimdall cut in smoothly, before Thor could respond to that, “I think the important question is what we _will_ do, if Thanos does find us.” 

Thor kept his eyes fixed on Loki. “Yes,” he said. “We need a plan.” He watched Loki’s shoulders slide down slightly and wondered if his brother really thought he wasn’t going to pursue this line of questioning later. 

* * *

Thor didn’t know how Loki managed it, but somehow, when Thor looked for him to catch him alone after they finished talking, he was already gone. Thor exhaled loudly and in no small frustration. 

“Well, shit,” Valkyrie said after Heimdall had gone, still sitting down. Thor sat down opposite her with a weak smile.

“More or less.” 

“You didn’t know any of that, did you,” she said. Thor shook his head, and she blew out a breath. “Hell of a secret to keep.” 

“Yes,” Thor said. “It is.” 

“You seem less angry than I’d expect.” 

Thor frowned down at his hands. “I am...angry,” he said. “But in some ways it is a relief. It is an explanation, at least in part, for things I didn’t understand. And that he actually _told_ me - us - that is a change for him.” 

“Has it occurred to you that that might be kind of a low bar?” Valkyrie asked. Thor half-smiled.

“It’s occurred to me. But I’m not going to scoff at progress.” 

“Guess not.” Valkyrie stretched, grimacing. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go try pouring my drinking water on my head. You have no idea how tempted I am to crack a window.” 

Thor snorted. “I can understand the desire. Five more days, apparently.”

“Five too many,” Valkyrie said. “If you want, I’ll go catch up Hulk on the news. I’m guessing you want to chase down your brother for further questioning.” 

“Rather,” Thor said. He stood. “I would appreciate it. Thank you, Valkyrie.” 

“Call me Val,” she said. “It’s shorter.”

_And what about your real name,_ Thor thought. _Are you ever going to tell me that?_ But he knew better than to press that question. She’d tell him if she wanted to. 

* * *

Well, Loki was avoiding him. And Loki was, as always, _very_ good at avoiding him. 

But usually Thor was better at finding him. 

Thor checked a couple of times to be certain none of the escape pods had vanished, and that the Tesseract was still in Thor’s cabin (a measure Loki had agreed to with surprisingly little argument), but Loki did not seem to have left the ship. So he was still here, _somewhere,_ just avoiding Thor, and Thor was getting increasingly frustrated with it. 

Of course, Thor was increasingly frustrated with _most_ things, which possibly had something to do with the consistently rising temperatures, the stifling air, and the fact that a growing number of Aesir appeared to be dealing with their ill tempers by starting fights with each other. 

Loki wasn’t helping, though. Rather, Loki’s absence wasn’t. When he popped his head up again…

Except that Loki had managed to avoid him for a lot longer than five days, before. And what happened if, once they reached the spaceport, Loki did as he’d apparently been considering: took the Tesseract and ran? There’d be no catching up to him. He’d be in the wind, and Thor was no longer as sure as he’d initially been that Loki’s intent in doing so would simply be to save himself. 

_You’re afraid he’ll be coming for it._

Loki’s motives were often selfish. 

But he’d decided to change, and told Thor. 

After waiting weeks. 

But he’d given up the Tesseract of his own will, helped make their plan. 

And he might do so to disguise some longer game. 

And back and forth, back and forth. It was maddening, and Thor was going to strangle Loki when he caught up to him. 

Or such was his intent, except that it looked like someone had gotten to Loki first. 

Thor stood very still, staring at the mess of Loki’s quarters. No blood that he could see, but there had been some kind of struggle. One of Loki’s knives was driven deep into the metal by the door, and Thor stared at it like it might provide some answers, an uneasy shiver crawling down his spine. But surely...surely Loki was fine. Loki could handle himself, and even if he’d somehow gotten into trouble - how many times had he, and gotten out again?

He glanced at Heimdall, standing next to him, who shook his head. 

“I know what you’re going to ask,” he said, “but I still can’t see him.”

Thor shook his head. “Who would have attacked him?” Heimdall raised his eyebrows, and Thor frowned. “No one’s shown any sign of holding a grudge. And besides - Loki’s not so easily overcome.” 

“He isn’t at his best right now,” Heimdall pointed out. “The heat makes him ill.” 

Thor felt his frown deepen. So someone might have taken advantage of Loki’s vulnerability to attack him, because...because why? And where was he now? “He seemed to be doing all right to me.” 

“Of course,” Heimdall said. 

“What do you mean?” Thor asked. Heimdall raised his eyebrows. 

“Loki has always taken pains to hide his weaknesses from you. He did not want you to see him as weak.” 

That was painfully accurate, though it made Thor wince. “We need to find him,” he said, because that was more important. “Wherever he’s been taken, whoever is responsible--”

“Your Majesty?” 

Thor turned, sudden fear spiking in his chest. For a moment, images flashed in his mind of Loki hidden somewhere, injured (not dead, that wasn’t possible). The nervous expression on the Sakaaran’s face was not encouraging. 

“What is it,” he said, and heard the sharpness in his own voice. 

“We’ve - me and Mirelle, we found something, poking around - um, examining the extra fuel canisters-”

_And what were you doing there,_ Thor wanted to ask, but it could wait. “And?” 

The Sakaaran glanced past Thor to Heimdall and did not look encouraged. “Well,” he said, “it’s not a _something_ so much as a _someone,_ and Mirelle said it looked like one of yours, so…”

Thor glanced at Heimdall, who looked back at him, golden eyes betraying worry. The fear deepened. “Heimdall - find Val and start a search. But keep it quiet for now.” He turned back to the Sakaaran. “Show me.” 

* * *

The Sakaaran - he introduced himself as Braxa - led Thor downward toward the engines, tracing the maintenance catwalks, some low enough that Thor had to stoop to pass through them. It was almost unbearably hot, and before long Thor was almost dripping sweat. Eventually they reached a wider room, still low-ceilinged, with two figures in it: one crouching in a full-body containment suit - Mirelle, Thor assumed - and the other…

Thor heard himself make a low sound and rushed over, pushing Mirelle out of the way so he could kneel down next to Loki. 

He looked unhurt, no bruising or wounds visible. But he was breathing too quickly and too shallowly, and his skin looked ashy. His face was slack and when Thor touched his chest he didn’t respond. 

“Loki,” he said, touching his neck, the side of his face. 

Loki moaned and moved away from his touch. Thor pulled back and swiped sweat off his brow before it dripped into his eyes. 

Sweat. The engines. Valkyrie: _stay away from the lower levels. That’s where it’s going to be worst._

“I need to get him away from here,” Thor said. Both the Sakaarans were staring at him. 

“So he is one of yours?” Mirelle said. “What is he doing here?” 

Thor glared at her and picked Loki up. “Sorry,” he said when Loki flinched away from his heat, already trying to think of the coolest place on the ship that he could bring Loki. “Thank you,” he made himself say to Braxa and Mirelle. And added, “but I don’t think either of you should be here, either.” 

He didn’t wait to see if they left, though, just hurried out.

Loki felt so limp and heavy in his arms, breathing unsteadily. Thor’s mind spun, bouncing between what he should do now (take Loki to the healers, maybe they would know what to do) and what could have happened. 

Asgard knew that Loki was Jotun - or at least, anyone who had seen Loki’s play did, and word would have spread. Loki had been placed in a secluded room in the hottest part of the ship, and left there. If the Sakaarans had not intruded-

Thor took a deep breath and let it out. That would have to wait until he knew that Loki was well. And he _would_ be. Never mind the wheeze in his breathing or the way his head lolled against Thor’s shoulder. He’d be fine. 

Maybe halfway to the healers (though Thor wasn’t sure what they were going to do), he felt Loki go cool. When he looked down Thor felt the uncomfortable lurch of unfamiliarity, but he shoved it down. It seemed like a bad sign that Loki would change shape like that, apparently without willing it. And while Thor had no idea what a Frost Giant _should_ feel like, it still seemed like he was far too warm. 

Thor quickened his pace, his heart pounding anxiously. All the anger forgotten. Loki was suffering ( _dying_ ); everything else could wait.

* * *

There were two women in the makeshift infirmary when Thor reached it. Loki was breathing shallowly and his body was unsettlingly limp. Both of them stared at Loki with almost grotesque fascination and Thor held back the urge to growl. 

“He’s too hot,” he said, probably more harshly than he should have. “ _Do_ something.”

They did move, then, and had Thor lay Loki out on a makeshift examination table (no Soul Forges here, no master healers), though they seemed hesitant at first to touch him. Thor hovered, pacing, staring at Loki’s still face, his barely moving chest.

“There isn’t much we can do with the supplies we have,” the older of the two said eventually. “Cold water is too limited for immersion, and so long as he’s unconscious it’s difficult to rehydrate--”

“There’s enough for compresses, isn’t there?” Thor interrupted, some part of him wondering wildly if they were a part of whatever conspiracy wanted Loki dead. “Do _that,_ at least. Whatever you can.”

_I can’t lose my brother too. Not now._

Heimdall found him not long after and looked from Thor to Loki, still blue and unmoving. “Where was he?” He asked. Thor glanced at the healers and lowered his voice. 

“Down close to the engines,” he said. “He’s not…” He trailed off. Loki’s condition spoke for itself. 

“You think someone brought him there?” 

“I don’t know what to think.” Thor stared at Loki, willing him to wake. His inhales rattled faintly, body fighting an enemy that Thor couldn’t battle. 

“Come away,” Heimdall said after a few moments. “You’re distressing the healers. Let them work.” 

_I don’t trust them,_ Thor thought. _I don’t trust Loki to stay alive if I’m not watching him._ But he knew Heimdall was right. He could feel their tension, their nerves. He was a distraction Loki couldn’t afford. 

He followed Heimdall reluctantly out.

“Heat can drive people mad,” Heimdall said quietly, after a few moments of silence. “It’s possible there was no attacker.” 

Thor stiffened. “What are you saying?” 

“Only what I said,” Heimdall said. “Heat sickness can confuse the mind, make people see things that aren’t there.”

“Loki isn’t mad anymore,” Thor snapped defensively.

“I didn’t say he was.” Heimdall paused, turning toward Thor. “Only that Loki has been under a fair amount of stress, and was already ill. If he woke confused, and panicked...it is something to consider, before making accusations.” 

Thor shook his head. “We’ll ask Loki himself,” he said tersely. “When he wakes up.” Because he would. He had to. _Under a fair amount of stress._ If Loki had just _talked_ to him…

But of course that had never been their way. 

* * *

Loki did stabilize. He wasn’t well, but he wasn’t deteriorating further either, at least at the moment. Thor leaned against one of the walls watching him breathe, aching to touch him and wary of transferring even a little body heat. The strain in his slow inhale-exhale was still audible. Dehydration, heat rash, impending organ failure, the elder healer had told him, not quite looking him in the eye. Could still collapse. Hard to say. 

They’d both left: there was a difficult childbirth, apparently, and they were needed there more than here, where they could do nothing.

A faint moan jerked Thor out of his thoughts and he lurched forward, immediately hastening to Loki’s side. His eyes were open, barely, unfocused. He’d known what to expect, but the red still startled him.

Almost immediately his breathing started to quicken. “Thor,” he said faintly.

“Yes,” Thor said. “It’s me.” 

Loki shook his head, but not like he was denying anything. More like he was trying to clear it. “Get...get out,” he said. “You have to leave-”

Thor jerked. “What?” He said, hurt spiking through his heart, telling himself _he doesn’t know what he’s saying, he’s confused-_

“It’s not safe.” Loki’s voice was hoarse. “He’s - _here._ ”

It took Thor a moment to parse what Loki was saying, and then his heart sank. He remembered what Heimdall had said: _heat can drive people mad. Loki has been under a fair amount of stress._

“No,” Thor said, trying to sound reasonable. “It’s just us, Loki.”

Loki’s eyes opened a little wider. His throat bobbed as he swallowed with what looked like an effort. “No. No, I - Ebony Maw was there, attacked me, I got away but - I _ran_ away but I...” He trailed off, eyebrows knitting together, expression fretful. 

Thor bowed his head forward. So Heimdall had been right, after all. No conspiracy. Just...Loki, and Loki’s fears grown large in his silence. “You’re sick,” Thor said. “You imagined-”

“I didn’t imagine it!” Loki’s voice rose, sharp with panic. “It was _real,_ and you’re, you need to believe me and go _now-_ ” 

“Loki,” Thor said, making his voice firmer. “Calm down.”

Loki started to push himself up and fell back, too weak to manage it. His breathing was coming faster and faster, his eyes wide and wild.

“You’re not listening to me,” Loki cried. “Thor-”

“I’m not going to leave!”

Silence followed his exclamation except for Loki’s raspy, unsteady breathing. His head lolled to the side and his eyes drifted closed like he was fading out again. Thor clenched his fists, wishing he knew what to do. Wishing there _was_ something to do. 

“It’s all right,” Thor said, trying to sound firm. “You’re sick. Confused. But I’m safe, and you’re safe.”

Loki made a faint noise of miserable disagreement. Thor picked up the glass of lukewarm water. 

“Here,” he said. “You need to drink.” 

To Thor’s relief, Loki lifted his own head to sip the water, though he swallowed with what looked like difficulty. 

“Am I dying?” He asked in a small voice. Thor shook his head hard. 

“No,” he said, too harshly. “No, you are _not._ You’re just - sick.” 

“It’s the heat,” Loki said. “Thor. It’s so hot.” 

“I know,” Thor said, trying to sound soothing. “I know. Can you-” A thought burst into his mind. “Can you make ice? For yourself?” 

Loki licked his lips. “Because - because I am…” 

Thor wondered that he still couldn’t say it. Put it in a play, but not speak it to his brother. He pushed that aside and simply said, “yes,” wondering if Loki was aware of the skin he now wore.

“I don’t know how,” Loki said, almost a whisper. “Not like they do. And my magic won’t - work right now.” 

At least he sounded more lucid now. “It’s all right,” Thor said, because Loki sounded fretful about that fact. “It’s just your illness.” 

Loki didn’t respond. His eyes were closed again, flickering under the lids. 

How many days was it to docking? Until they could get Loki off this hothouse and to some real medical help? It was two, wasn’t it? Let it be two, and not three. Loki could hold out that long, easily. Maybe he wouldn’t even need to. Maybe in an hour this fever would break and his temperature would fall. 

(Or maybe in an hour his body would surrender and his brain would shut down and he would be gone, for good.) 

Thor started pacing again, heedless of the sweat dripping down his back, itching under his eyepatch. 

* * *

He could not just stay and watch Loki twist on the hook of his fever, drifting in and out of consciousness and lucidity. There was a kingdom to run. Contingencies to be developed. And yet a piece of his mind always lingered back with Loki - moved to another room to allow for other patients. Still fighting, still straddling the line between life and death. 

It must be a familiar place to him, by now. And he’d found his way out of it before. 

_No change, Your Majesty._

_No change._

Thor strove not to take his ill temper - his worry, his _fear -_ out on his subjects. When word began to spread that Loki was ill - Thor should have known better than to think it could remain secret - Thor was surprised by the fact that his anxiety seemed to be shared. 

“They only have one prince,” Valkyrie pointed out. “And for some reason they like him.”

Thor told Loki as much, the next time he was more or less lucid. He seemed to find it entertaining.

But his periods of lucidity were always short and only growing shorter. His periods of consciousness the same. He was fighting, it was true, but he was losing, and they were inching too slowly toward their destination. 

* * *

Valkyrie found him sitting in his room, breathing hard and staring at the smashed remnants of everything breakable that he’d found to hand. There were sharp pieces of glass cutting into his hands, but he scarcely noticed it. 

“Thor,” she said. 

“He’s not going to make it,” Thor said dully. Valkyrie exhaled and then walked over and sat down next to him. 

“They’re sure? No chance they could be wrong?” 

“They’re sure,” Thor said. “Apparently his body’s entered an irreversible decline.” Not his words; all he could do was echo the ones he’d been given. The anger had blown itself out. All he was left with was an awful kind of numbness. _I can’t do this again,_ he’d thought, but he would, he knew he would. 

Valkyrie pressed her fingers into her eyes. “Fuck,” she said, quietly. “Thor…” 

“I didn’t even know he was sick to begin with,” Thor blurted out. “If I’d known, if I’d kept a closer eye on him…” 

“That’s on him,” Valkyrie interrupted. “Not you.” 

“He’s _dying,_ ” Thor said. “He’s the only family I have left and he’s going to die here because a single piece of machinery _broke-_ ”

Valkyrie sucked in another breath. “What if we could stop it,” she said abruptly. Thor turned his head to stare at her, not daring to hope. “It’s risky,” she said, “but if we could freeze him until we get to the dock...it might buy some time.” 

“ _How,_ ” Thor said. “We don’t have any-”

“There’s space,” she said. “We’re in the middle of space. Temperatures are pretty cold out there, even for a Jotun.” 

“What are you saying,” Thor demanded, his voice raw. “We throw him out an airlock?” 

“No,” Valkyrie said. “Obviously not. Use the ship parked on our roof. Strap him down in it and depressurize it.” 

“He’d be pulled out into space,” Thor said.

“You’d have to make sure your strapping down was secure.” Valkyrie looked at him with a bit of a grimace. “It’s the only idea I have, Thor. And if the healers are sure...it only needs to last another day and a half. And worst comes to worst…” Her lips twisted. “Seems to me freezing to death in space is better than your brain being cooked in your skull.” 

Thor clenched his hand into a fist, digging his short nails into his palm. He thought of Loki, his skin bluish-grey, the horrid, raspy, sound of his breathing, his confusion and delirium. The healers had given up everything but trying to keep him moderately comfortable, and even that seemed to be unsuccessful. 

“All right,” he said hoarsely. “It’s...at least it’s something to try.”

* * *

Thor carried Loki to the Commodore. His skin was dry and the temperature of tepid water, and he didn’t so much as open his eyes the whole way. 

He set Loki in the pilot’s seat and secured his body as tightly as he could. 

Then he used lightning to rip a hole in the hull. He imagined the freezing cold vacuum rushing in. Loki wouldn’t freeze instantly; it would take a little time. But hopefully not too much. It needed to be fast, so they could bring him back. 

This would work. It _had_ to work. 

_Be stubborn, Loki,_ Thor thought desperately. _Defy the odds, as you always have. And come back to me._

A day and a half. 

He was going to be counting down the time, holding his breath until then. 

* * *

Docking went smoothly enough, and Thor went to fetch Loki as soon as he could. 

He looked dead. The blue of his skin was drained of much of its color, frozen stiff. Thor took a rattling breath and forced himself to calm. 

“This is what we expected,” Valkyrie reminded him. “What we _wanted._ Remember?” 

Thor made himself nod. Wanting was different from seeing. He looked at Loki like this and imagined him falling through the Void only to land in terrible hands; thawing out to terror and pain that Thor only guessed by intuition, since Loki had yet to speak a word. 

Shaking the thoughts away, Thor began the work of removing Loki carefully from the restraints keeping him in place, too aware of time passing, knowing if they didn’t do this right it could all be for nothing and Loki would be lost anyway. 

“Go find a doctor,” Thor told Valkyrie. 

“What are we going to pay them with?” She asked. Thor shook his head.

“We’ll figure it out.” He’d sell his own armor if he had to. Whatever it took. 

He wasn’t going to let Loki die again. 

Thor brought Loki onto the station carefully hidden from sight. By the time he found the doctor Valkyrie had located, she had apparently already managed to convince the Centaurian to treat Loki via the application of bluntly applied threats. Thor should not have been grateful, but he was. 

He was even more grateful when she said she could revive Loki safely. Thor could have kissed her. He almost _did_ when Loki started breathing again and it already sounded cleaner, clearer, steadier. _Healthier._

For the first time Thor really let himself think it: _he’s going to be fine. He’s going to be all right._

Thor didn’t have much money, but he shoved it in the doctor’s direction and then focused on Loki, still unconscious but beginning to look - to Thor’s eye, at least - a healthier shade of blue. Thor bent his head forward and thanked every power in the universe he could think of. 

He knew it wasn’t over yet - wouldn’t be over, really, until Loki was on his feet and talking. But some of the desperate fear that had been dogging him ever since he’d seen Loki’s ransacked room was beginning to bleed away. 

“Thank you,” he said honestly, to the still nervous looking doctor, who was keeping one eye on Valkyrie. “ _Thank_ you.” 

“Do you think you could get out of my clinic?” She said, almost politely. Thor glanced at Loki.

“Is it safe to move him?” She shrugged, and Thor set his jaw. “Then we’ll stay here.” 

Valkyrie crossed her arms and shifted in a way that drew attention to Dragonfang. The doctor subsided, and Thor returned to watching Loki and willing him to wake.

* * *

It took perhaps two hours for Loki’s breathing to shift from the deep, slow rhythm of sleep or unconsciousness to something else. Thor was hovering immediately, leaning forward and peering into Loki’s face, searching for the first sign of consciousness. 

His eyes flickered open slowly, blurry and confused, and Thor smiled tremulously. “Loki,” he said. “You’re awake.” 

Loki blinked slowly, frowning. “Thor?” His voice rasped, a little. 

“It’s me.”

“I don’t…” His unfocused eyes unfocused further, looking inward. “What happened?” 

“You were sick,” Thor said. The relief was leaving him wobbly, on the verge of tears. He held them back. “ _Very_ sick.”

Loki licked his lips. “There was...I remember...in my room.” His breathing quickened a little and Thor quickly reached out to grip his shoulder, though his skin tingled for the chill. 

“Part of your illness,” he said. “You’re well now.” 

“Sort of,” Valkyrie said. Thor glanced at her with a frown, and she shrugged.

“Why don’t you go tell Heimdall that Loki’s awake,” Thor said pointedly. 

“I’ll do that.” She paused. “Welcome back, Lackey.” She left on quiet feet. 

“How do I know this is real,” Loki asked hoarsely. Thor wanted to flinch.

“Does it feel real?” 

“It always does.” Loki’s eyes drifted closed. Thor gave him a light shake. 

“It _is_ real,” Thor said. “It was just...the heat. Driving you mad. I wish-” _You’d told me._ He cut himself off. “But you’re well now.” 

“I want to believe you,” Loki said softly. 

“So believe me.” Thor squeezed Loki’s shoulder. “I’ll protect you. Believe that.” 

“Do you know,” Loki said, “I almost managed to forget. To pretend that...that none of it was real. That if I just...that it wouldn’t catch up to me. Stupid. Childish. Everything always comes back.” 

_I wish you’d told me before,_ Thor thought again, but he didn’t think now was the time. “Nothing’s caught up yet.” 

“It’s only a matter of time,” Loki said, his eyes dragging closed. This time Thor didn’t try to make him stir, just leaned back on his heels and looked down at his brother’s drawn face, frowning.

* * *

They stayed on the station a few days for repair and resupply. Most of Asgard spent the time in exploration; Loki spent the time recuperating. He tired easily, still, remaining stiff and weak for a full day before beginning to regain his strength. When he first stepped out in public, the relief was palpable, though Loki seemed surprised and a little overwhelmed by the people who approached to congratulate him on his recovery. He glanced at Thor, eyebrows furrowed, and Thor just smiled at him. 

It was hard to take his eyes off Loki. And not keep pressing water on him, now that they had access to a regular supply. To his relief, Loki didn’t actually seem to mind. 

He waited a few days, considering, before bringing anything up with Loki, then asked him to come to the bridge. He met him there and found Loki pacing back and forth. He looked up sharply when Thor entered.

“Peace,” Thor said. “You aren’t in trouble.”

Loki didn’t relax. “Who is?” 

“No one,” Thor said. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine,” Loki said, which Thor suspected was a lie, but he decided to leave it alone. “What is it?” 

“You were avoiding me,” Thor said. “After you admitted to having the Tesseract. Why?” 

Loki gave him a startled look. “It isn’t obvious?” 

“Not to me.” 

Loki exhaled. “Because I didn’t want to talk about it more. And didn’t want you to shout at me about my choices. I know I was stupid. I didn’t have a better idea.” 

“I’m glad you decided not to leave,” Thor said honestly. “That would certainly have been a worse idea.” 

“Cowardice,” Loki said. Thor shook his head.

“Call it sense.” Loki’s lips twisted a little, and Thor stepped up closer to him, but turned to look out into space. “I would. You might temporarily divert the attack, but he would still be there, and more powerful for having the Tesseract. And you would have thrown your life away for nothing.” 

“Not nothing,” Loki murmured, but Thor gave him a sharp look, and Loki looked away. “I am not going to do it.” 

“Good,” Thor said. 

“Was this what you wanted to discuss?”

“Not all of it.” Thor paused, thinking through his words. “When you were sick...you believed you saw one of his lieutenants. It was that which drove you out of your room and down into the heat that nearly killed you.”

“Is that a question or are you telling me?” Loki’s voice was tense, not quite testy.

“Is it true?” 

Loki’s jaw shifted. “Yes,” he said. “That is...accurate, as far as I can remember. Which I don’t, very well.”

“I’m not stupid,” Thor said. “Telling us - me - everything about this Thanos...cost you. Brought back old wounds.” 

Loki shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “You needed to know.”

“Even so,” Thor said. “Don’t deny that...that breaking those wounds open guided your delusions when you were ill. If you had not…”

“I hope you aren’t blaming yourself for my madness,” Loki interrupted, his voice brittle. 

“No,” Thor said. “Only remarking that I know it cannot have been easy to speak. And I suspect there is more you have not spoken. If you wished to…”

Loki shook his head, a quick jerk from side to side. “No, Thor,” he said. “I do not wish.” 

“Think about it,” Thor said. Loki’s jaw twitched. 

“I’d rather not.” 

“You’re afraid of him,” Thor said, not a question. Loki stiffened, and then sighed, shoulders slumping.

“I’m not brave like you are,” he said. He sounded tired, and still looked wan and sickly. “All I want to do is run.”

“You haven’t yet,” Thor said quietly. Loki stuttered a weak laugh.

“That is not a guarantee that I won’t.” 

“There are no guarantees.” Thor looked at the ship. “I’ve been thinking,” he said. “About Thanos.” He didn’t miss Loki’s shudder. 

“I would hope so,” Loki said. “You need to be ready.”

“We do,” Thor corrected. He drummed his fingers against his leg. “You were thinking about taking the Tesseract away from the ship. Where would you have gone?” 

“I don’t know,” Loki said after a moment. “It was one of the reasons I didn’t.” 

“It’s not a bad idea,” Thor said. “Separating it from Asgard’s people, so they don’t become a target.” Loki blinked at him like Thor had said something deeply improbable. Thor ignored it. “I think we should do better than a contingency plan,” he said. “I think we should try to be proactive.”

“Proactive,” Loki said slowly. 

_I spent the last four days waiting to see if you would die. If it comes to a battle, there will be casualties. I do not want to wait to see who they are._

“Yes,” Thor said. “Proactive.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sending you and Valkyrie to Nidavellir.”

Loki frowned. “Even the dwarves can’t destroy an Infinity Stone.” 

“I know,” Thor said. “That isn’t what we need from them.” He rolled his shoulders back. “We need a weapon to kill a Titan.” 


End file.
